This subject is very sensitive to me right now because my mother is actively contemplating pulling my third youngest sibling (second youngest boy) out of school and return to homeschooling. I decided that since homeschooling was not something she was ever subjected to, maybe she should be given the benefit of the doubt, that she didn't know how harmful it can be.
So a few weeks ago, I called her and told her. My mistake. My conclusion from my conversation with her is that she knows its harmful but doesn't care. I explained to her about social awkwardness and social disconnectedness. She didn't care. I pointed out all the evidence that shows she is not really capable of homeschooling. She blamed me for the original homeschool failure!
I explained that especially for someone like my brother who has already been unsuccessfully homeschooled (entered Christian school at grade two age, unable to read!), there would be complex interactions of triggers and confusing expectations based on the past, not to mention those on her own psychological experience. She thanked me for my opinion.
I asked her why she wanted to do it, and all her answers were selfish. I believe homeschooling is a selfish act. It is based on emotions and desires of the parent, often based on fears from their own past bullying or fear of not being able to completely control their children. Also from our conversation I conclude that she thinks its cute and therefore she wants it. She wants the admiration from her fundie church.
I told her that I had explained how her plan was harmful, and that I couldn't have a relationship with her if she was going to set out to re-victimize another sibling. She told me that was my choice. So far that's the last conversation we have had. Even if she changes her mind, how could I renew my relationship with her? To me, it's the same as if she was contemplating kicking him down the stairs or experimenting with spanking devices again. She knows its mean, she knows its about her, and now she knows its abusive.
At what age did you enter regular schooling Sarah, you have done so remarkably well for what you have been through. Big hugs. Mrs. HicklingReplyDelete
Thank you, that is very kind. I entered high school when I was 17. It was a very strange experience, as you can imagine.Delete